Embrace the love this V-day

Valentine’s day is just around the corner, and I’ve been ruminating.

On V-day, we show our appreciation of the one we love. We buy them chocolates or flowers, maybe write them a heartfelt note. We let them know how much they mean to us.  

But how often do we do the same for ourselves? Tell ourselves how amazing, how worthy, how loved we are? 

I don’t know about you, but for me, it’s not often. Once in a never, really.

I have two autoimmune diseases. I won't get into the joys of autoimmunity, but basically it's when your body decides that itself is the enemy. 

And there’s something quite psychologically awful about that. 

How can you possibly love a body that is so intent on destroying itself?

The truth?

With a heck of a lot of practice and perseverance. 

One of my recent Audible reads helped to change the way I see myself.

The trick was to imagine that the face you have now is the face of the person you loved the most in a previous life. Now. Just imagine it. 

Can you feel that amount of love for yourself? 

It makes you take pause, doesn’t it? It seems like a lot, like it's too much. 

But it's not too much. It's what you absolutely deserve.

It’s oh so easy to focus on all the annoying and ugly parts of your life. The things you don’t like, the things you wish were different.

You end up forgetting to appreciate what you can do, and how far you’ve already come.

5 top tips to feel the love
1. Stop comparing yourself to other people. You're on your own journey, on this path that no one else can walk. You're paving the way in your own unique way. 

2. Your body is what it is. Maybe it's a bit faulty like mine, and maybe there's parts of it you wish were different. It's difficult, but try to accept yourself for who you are, even the scars - especially the scars. 
3. Allow yourself to make mistakes. Learning anything involves making tons of mistakes, looking foolish, and feeling incompetent. Recognise where you are and recognise that growth requires stepping out of your safe zone. It's OK to not be perfect.
4. Take yourself out on dates! A short walk to grab a coffee, a trip to the art store, or whatever else strikes your fancy. 

5. Be kinder to yourself. Remember all that you have done and can do. Next time you start to give out to yourself, take a mental pause and check if these are words you'd be happy to say to your best friend. If not, throw them in the imaginary recycle bin.

Me?

I’m going to take pride in the fact that I’ve overcome one of my worst phobias and can stick a heckin big needle in my leg. 

I'll wear a swimsuit despite my scars. For a long time I wanted to tattoo over them. Now? I might just miss them if they were gone. They're not pretty, but they're me. 

I make tons of mistakes in whatever activity I'm doing - martial arts, tennis, piano. I'll miss shots and throw terrible punches and hit the worst combination of notes known to man. 

And you know what? Who cares! No one.

So whether it’s your appearance or skillset or your mental health or some other part of yourself you don’t entirely love - remember this:

Ain’t nothing but yourself gonna keep you down.

You’re still here today — you’re reading this blog post. You’re a survivor.

And I think that’s deserving of a little love.

2 comments

  • Laura that’s a fantastic outlook to have. Hope you have a lovely valentines. I love your blogs. 💕💕💕

    Elizabeth
  • Very powerful stuff! 💪🏻 You are a great writer 😊

    Sonja

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